Supporting Someone with Suicidal Thoughts: A Guide for Suicide Prevention Month

 

Trigger Warning: This article discusses sensitive topics related to suicidal thoughts, suicide prevention and mental health. Please be aware that the content may be distressing for some readers. If you need immediate support, please contact a mental health professional or a crisis hotline.

September marks the beginning of Suicide Awareness and Prevention Month, a time to remember and honor the souls taken because of this epidemic and work towards a future where such tragic loss is prevented. In 2008, September was officially designated as Suicide Prevention Month by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), highlighting the urgent need for awareness, education, and support in addressing this critical issue.

Significance of September as Suicide Prevention Month

With the transition to autumn from summer in September across many regions of the world, this period often signals a vulnerability to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and other mental health challenges because of shifts in light exposure. For students and educators alike, the new academic year also begins this month, bringing exposure to many stressors and academic pressure. Such reasons make September a strategic month for raising suicide awareness among our communities, with September 10th being globally recognized as Suicide Prevention Day.

Global Suicide Statistics

Globally, the annual suicide rate is 720,000 people, and it is the third leading cause of death among teenagers and young adults (15-29 year olds), according to the World Health Organization. This paints an alarming picture and speaks to the urgency of addressing this issue. Suicide affects people of various demographics from all geographical locations as highlighted by the following statistics given by the World Bank with low and middle-income countries being affected the most:

Suicidal Thoughts - What Are They?

Before being able to support someone experiencing suicidal thoughts, it’s important to have clarity about what they are. Suicidal thoughts or suicidal ideation refers to having thoughts, ideas, or ruminations about taking one’s own life. The intensity of these thoughts is usually variable ranging from brief moments of hopelessness to concrete plans.

Forms of Suicidal Thoughts: Active vs. Passive

1. Active Suicidal Thoughts: Active suicidal thoughts are characterized by specific thoughts, intentions, or plans to end one’s life. These require immediate attention and indicate higher risk. They are usually expressed through thoughts like “I’ve been looking for ways to do it,” “I’ve already written my note,” and “I know where and when I’m going to do it.”

2. Passive Suicidal Thoughts: Passive suicidal thoughts also involve thoughts about ending one’s own life but there is no plan or clear intent to follow through with these thoughts. Someone who is passively suicidal may express it by saying things like, “I just don’t want to be here anymore”, “I can’t find any meaning in continuing to live,” or “I don’t see the point in being alive.”

It is important to recognize the distinction between active and passive suicidal thoughts, i.e., intention and plan, to determine the level of risk and appropriate prevention methods. Although passive suicidal thoughts require less urgency and pose a lower level of risk, they need to be addressed before they escalate or worsen.

Behind the Gloom: What Drives Suicidal Thoughts?

As with all mysteries of the human psyche, no single reason or cause can be attributed to driving one to attempt or consider suicide. It is usually a mixture of various psychosocial pressures that leads one to a point where ending your life seems like a better option than continuing it. However, certain demographic factors make one more prone to suicide and suicidal thoughts such as:

1. A history of mental illness(es)
2. Previous suicide attempt(s)
3. Marginalized status (eg. immigrant, refugee, disabled, LGBTQ+, etc.)
4. Experiences of conflict, abuse, disaster, or violence.

Beyond this, feelings of isolation, hopelessness, and inability to cope with life challenges have been noted to make people consider suicide.

Isolation

When people feel alone and isolated from those around them it may lead them to (often falsely) view themselves as a burden on others and consider ending their lives.

Hopelessness

Feelings of hopelessness prevent people from finding light at the end of the tunnel and fester feelings of doom. They’re unable to picture a future where they’ll be free of whatever is causing them pain and so they turn to suicide.

Inability To Cope

When challenges arise in life, as they often do, ineffective coping skills make it harder for people to deal with the situation. In the absence of efficient coping mechanisms, someone might turn to suicide as an escape from their issues. The bright side, though, is that coping skills can always be developed and worked on.

It is important to note that being part of a vulnerable community or experiencing the above-mentioned feelings doesn’t automatically mean that a person will consider suicide, but it does put them more at risk. It is usually a combination of different factors that makes one want to end their life and there are certain signs and symptoms that people display when they are suicidal.

Suicidal Thoughts - The Warning Signs

If you feel like someone you know hasn’t been quite themselves recently, it’s natural to feel worried or unsure about what’s happening. Maybe they keep bailing on you, make light jokes about wanting to die, or you just can’t shake off the gut feeling that something’s wrong. Even if you’re uncertain about whether they’re considering taking their life, being familiar with warning signs can help you recognize when they might need support and help them feel less alone. The following cues are something you should look out for:

1. Expressing a desire to die, mentions of wanting to end their life, or talking about feeling trapped in life.
2. Rapid changes in mood such as extreme sadness, rage, irritability, loss of interest, etc.
3. Indulging in risky and reckless behavior at the expense of one’s safety, such as excessive drinking, speeding, self-harm, financial recklessness, etc.
4. Isolating from loved ones and refusing to stay in contact or engage in social activities.
5. Expressing feelings of despair, hopelessness, or feeling like a burden on others.
6. A change in sleeping patterns marked by either sleeping too much or too little.
7. Giving away prized possessions. People planning on taking their lives may sometimes start giving away their beloved items to prepare for their death.
8. Expressions of goodbye, such as reaching out to make amends or out-of-the-blue farewells, may indicate that someone is planning to leave life for good.
9. Researching ways to kill one’s self or obtaining certain items such as medications, ropes, firearms, or other lethal means may be taken as a seriously alarming sign.

Note: It is important to be cautious and not jump to conclusions. Someone can display one or even more than one warning sign for reasons unrelated to suicidal ideation as these behaviors can be influenced by different factors (stress, sudden life changes, personal struggles, etc.). Use these warning signs as a guide, but always consider the broader context of the person’s circumstances. That said, direct mentions of wanting to die should always receive a follow-up.

How To Offer Support

If you find that your friend or someone dear to you is contemplating taking their own life, you might find yourself feeling fretful. If you’re unfamiliar with how to approach the matter it’s important to remember that you can show up for them and support them in the following ways:

1. Ask Directly:

If you feel like someone is suicidal, it’s best to approach the matter head-on and ask them gently but directly. The idea that asking someone directly about suicide will plant the idea in their head is a myth. Asking directly allows you to assess the level of risk and give them space to express how they feel. Say “I know you’ve been feeling down lately and I wanted to ask you something important - do you have thoughts about hurting yourself or thinking of ending your life?”

2. Provide Empathy and Active Listening:

Respond to the person in a non-judgemental manner. Offer them compassion and empathy and remember that they must be in a lot of pain if they’re thinking about ending their life. Practice active listening with them and try to hear them out. Asking open-ended questions and validating their feelings can go a long way in making them feel understood. Remember that you’re there to offer support and do not give your own opinions or advice.

You can say, “It sounds like you’re in a lot of pain, and I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I’m here to listen. You can talk to me.,""I care about you and want to be with you during this time. Is there any way I can assist you?",”It must be very difficult to feel this way. I’m here for you and we can work through this together. Let me know how I can help.” Assurances like this can help them feel less alone and let them know they do not have to carry the burden all on their own.

3. Consistency is Key

Be persistent in showing up for them and stay connected. Checking in regularly with them can help let them know you’re in for the long run and provide a crucial sense of stability and comfort. You can text them or keep up with how they’re doing by saying “Just wanted to check in and see how you’re feeling today,” “You’ve been on my mind. How are things going for you?”

4. Remove Lethal Items

If the person is in immediate danger or at greater risk of taking their life, remove any lethal items present in their environment including unprescribed medication, razors, firearms, and other such things. Do not leave them on their own until you’re certain that they are safe.

5. Provide Practical Assistance:

Suicidal people often feel drained and overwhelmed which can make taking practical steps towards getting help challenging. You can support them by offering to assist with scheduling appointments, locating resources, or assessing mental health services. Connecting them with supportive family and friends can also do wonders for their mental health.

6. Encourage Professional Help

Do not hesitate to encourage the person to seek professional help. Let them know that there is no shame in needing assistance from a mental health professional and that you’ll be there for them in their journey towards recovery. Keep in mind though that you can’t force anyone to seek counseling or therapy and do not react with contempt or judgment if they refuse. Say something along the lines of “I’m happy to be here with you but a therapist can provide extra guidance and tools. It’s something worth considering if you’re open to it.” This will help put forward the idea of seeking help to them without being pushy.

7. Look After Yourself

Remember that before you can help anyone you must help yourself. Supporting someone who you love or care for who is going through a difficult time can be very overwhelming and emotionally taxing. Make sure to take care of yourself and your needs. Ensure you have your support system whether through family, friends, or a counselor. Know that it’s okay and natural if you ever feel worn down in the process of supporting someone else and that you’re human too. Give yourself grace.

Conclusively, suicide is a grave epidemic haunting the modern world. September invites us to reflect on ways we can raise awareness and prevent this tragedy. Although it may not always be possible to help everyone all around the world in need, we can start and make a difference by extending a compassionate helping hand to those around us, especially our friends.

If you or someone you know requires immediate support, please reach out to the appropriate hotline for your region. Below are crisis helplines for various countries around the world.

If you are in immediate danger or need urgent help, please contact emergency services in your country. Find them all here - Find a helpline

- By: Asfa Eman