Art of Saying NO! | Know your Limits - Episode 3

 Hello busy people! Hope you all are doing well. There has been a long break in the series and I am sure you all were waiting for it! Here you go, the WAIT IS OVER! I am back with an exciting experience and as promised with the Guide to Master the ART OF SAYING NO! . Did you read the First and the Second Episodes? Not yet? Go on, you might have missed amazing life lessons. Click here to read it. After you read the first episode and the second episode, read this SPECIAL episode, a guide, that helps you to master the art of not giving a f**k So, the earlier episodes were just a comprehensive yet brief description of what this series consists of. You can see the expansion of my horizons very often every now and then in all my works. And beware, you might always miss something that might be very interesting that helps you. So keep checking us out regularly for more episodes to come! So, proceed to learn 

How to Master the Art of Saying NO!

We all are living in the 21st century. Yet, the need of saying no seems non-existent. A lot of people find it really difficult to say no to others. We do not realize that saying no is a part of self-growth. We lack the confidence of saying no. The first thing that comes to your mind when you want to say no is, how the opposite person would feel or react to it. In the current era's fast-paced horse racing world, the urge to say YES has driven us far from ourselves. It’s like we live in a ‘YES’ cultured society.

Why is saying that monosyllabic word so difficult? Let us address the problem before coming to the prevention...

Finding it difficult to say NO?

Let us understand why we face this difficulty of saying no to someone. There are so many reasons for that.

Let us understand why we face this difficulty of saying no to someone. There are so many reasons for that. The first reason is you can’t say no because the terror of people seeing you with judgy eyes grasp you with fear. You start to ruminate about how people will think of you when you say NO to them. Then you gradually start to overthink the whole process which gradually leads you to say yes.

The second reason is you can’t say no because it makes you feel guilty and low about yourself. You assume in your head that if you say no to others, people will no longer like you. You think you will upset them which makes you more vulnerable and therefore gives others the license to exploit your weakness.

The third and the most relatable reason is the need to keep up with others. The peer pressure of being good to others, helping them in all possible ways, and ensuring to make them happy distracts you from that monosyllabic word. The idea of saying yes to everything and everyone might tempt you in the beginning but the consequences it brings with it becomes hard to condone. Gradually this turns us into a people pleaser.

Confession Time ?

A lot of people might think oh no we are not a people pleaser but let’s confess it at any point in our life we had said yes to things that we didn’t want to do only just to make others happy. I too confess that I was a people pleaser who found it difficult to say no to others. At times I have said yes to things and people that I regret doing. But with time I have realized how important it was to say no.

Time to say NO

All the excuses have been made to justify our reasons but now it is time to stand up for ourselves and say no to things we dislike because:

A) The wrong decisions that we make to please people end up hurting us. In the process of forcing things on yourself, you directly or indirectly hamper your physical, mental, and spiritual health. When you fail to keep up the promise made to others, you feel answerable to them. Saying yes to a party after work, knowing that you will have a hangover the next day and still have to go to work hampers your sleep cycle and this directly affects your physical health. When you say yes to your boss for that extra work that he asks you to do, you indirectly give your mental health stimulator to him and then we all know what the outcomes could be.

B) You are and will always be the villain in someone else's story. Therefore it should not matter what opinion others have of you. You do not need to explain your choices to others. Even if you agree to do what others ask you to do, one day or the other they will judge you. If your decision is dependent on others' thinking then, believe me, it is not your decision, it is the decision they make for you. You should not give the authority of your life decisions to others. Either way, it will ruin you, and trust me it's just not worth it. 

C) Always remember that time flows by. It does not wait for anybody. The time that you waste on pleasing people is much worth than that. You could spend that time on something that you enjoy doing. Something that makes you a better person. You need to prioritize things in life. Life goes on. People will talk about you for a few days and then they will shift to another topic that is spicier. It is the nature of this ecosystem. One leave and the other enters. Do not pay attention to those unnecessary things.

“When you say ‘Yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself.”
~ Paulo Coelho

 

Welcome the Change

The past is far gone and it is time to change. The world will not change. It is you who need to change your bad habits. This monosyllabic word might be negative but the positive impact that it holds can change a person for good. Start saying no. No to things you did not enjoy, No to people with whom you are not comfortable, No to parties that waste your time, and No to all such things that do not help you in your development. Because once again, it is the people who need to know their limits. Nothing matters more than YOU. Love Yourself and Care for Yourself before you care for others. An empty glass cannot fill another empty glass. Be full, then fill others.

“The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.” - Tony Blair.

This Episode ends here. As promised, 'the art of saying NO' is taught to you/ Now go there out into the world and rock! Let's meet soon and make this article series a Grand Success.

~ Shakyamuni

Here are few books that might help you -