Mental Abuse: Don't Hold Back, Fight!

What comes to your mind when you hear the word 'Mental Abuse'? Does it remind you of some incident that happened to you in the past? Or Does it make you go through the trauma you faced? Or Do you remind of those times how strongly you fought Mental Abuse and stand today as a winner? Okay! Let me explain to you 

What Mental Abuse is...

And how it can destroy a person.

Let me share an incident I had come across recently. Earlier this month, I went to my cousin's sister's home. I have noticed that she looked sad. I tried to be the ice breaker and initiated talks. Once she opened herself up, I came to know that one of her schoolmates told her that she's too skinny and ugly. Imagine how bad it would hurt to hear such comments from a schoolmate, someone you meet almost every day! Your self-esteem will fall, and you would eventually start to hate yourself. The aforementioned is one category of mental harm.

Mental Abuse will make you feel worse about yourself, and it will decrease your self-esteem. In your subconscious mind, you will start to judge yourself too much. Several studies show emotional abuse can be as devastating as physical abuse, and sometimes it can be more painful. It can lead to someone suffering from anxiety, panic attacks and even depression. Most of the time, mental and emotional abuse comes from someone you are close to. Now my question is, why would anyone want to abuse you when it can affect you so badly? Well, because sometimes people can neither empathize, nor think about how something can affect someone mentally! A mental abuser can be anyone -- it could be one among your friends, your partner, or maybe someone from your very own family.

Here are few examples of emotionally abusive behaviours which are relevant to understand psychological abuse better :

Name-calling

The abuser may call you by any hurtful adjective to make you feel low, and it may destroy your self-esteem. They can call you 'loser' or 'stupid' or anything awful.

Character Assassination

People might criticize your behaviour, and in spite of saying it politely, they will say it out loud. They will try to prove that you are not good enough. They may use remarks such as: 

"you're always late", "you're wrong", "you're so negative", etc.

Public Embarrassment

Abusers mostly pick fights willingly. And they do it to expose your secrets (that you might have shared with them with trust) to everyone, or maybe they make fun of your appearance in public.

Sarcasm and 'Jokes'

Sarcasm can be just a dig in disguise. Suppose you had told the abusers something important, they will make a joke about it. If you get offended, they may manipulate you not to take everything seriously.

Put-downs of your Interests

Abuser can tell you that your hobbies are just a waste of time. And make you feel to get rid of them as soon as possible even though you know those hobbies make you happy!

Spying and Controlling

They want to know where you are all the time and might stalk you on your social media platforms. Not just that, if they had access, they could go to an extent to check your browser history, emails, texts etc. They even might control you and treat you like a child, and they can tell you what to wear, where to go. They will lecture you about your errors with long monologues.

Accusing and Denial

Sometimes, the abuser, out of insecurity, creates a pattern wherein they almost always have an advantage over you. It could lead to a cycle of them accusing you of something you had never done.

 

Mental abuse, as we have seen, has many forms. The aforementioned were just some examples.

Emotional abuse or psychological abuse can destroy a person very badly. I want to share few self-care tips on 'how you can protect yourself from such toxic people'.

YOU are your Priority...

Firstly, you must give more importance to your mental health than anything. Take your time to heal and make yourself busy at work. Do some chores, do anything that makes you happy, go for a walk, learn something new.

Draw boundaries

Try to put boundaries and inform the abusers that they cannot scream at you, or bully you, name-call you, or be disrespectful towards you. Cut off those abusers from your life if you have to.

Say NO to self-blame 

You have to realize that you cannot fix anyone. Regardless of how hard you try, you could never influence an emotionally abusive person by doing or being any different. Put an end to the self-blame.

Seek Support and Help

It might be hard to communicate what you are going through. But, you could talk and discuss your problems with trustworthy friends, family members, or even with a psychologist.  Spend time with the people who love and support you. There is nothing wrong in seeking help.

Still afraid? Or feeling scared to reach out to people you know? Or not aware to whom you should talk? Do not worry. Lifenatphil is here. Talk to our team members anonymously! Use the chat option below with the chat icon, and if no one is available in the chat, contact us on Telegram - Click here. Text our Cheif Dr. Dee Sim and talk freely.

Emotional abuse is a much important issue, and everyone going through it shouldn't stay back. YOU should fight back! If you or anyone close to you is going through it and you know about it, you should always support them. For anyone going through a phase of abuse, it is like a trauma for them, and if you need any professional or legal help, you should go for it. Mental Abuse is not something you should tolerate at all!

~ Yours Sohini Chakraborty 

Fact File

HealthLine